We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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