I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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