Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We need to rekindle our bromance
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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