can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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