help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
