You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
