I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
