the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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