Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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