I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
