Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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