HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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