just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
