Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize