It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He felt like a one man threesome
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
