I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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