dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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