i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
