question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
