you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
