So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
