She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
