This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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