Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
