In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
