whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
