Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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