And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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