hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize