I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
