I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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