It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
