Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
