9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
