dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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