is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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