OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
