no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
