Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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