I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
