I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is the high leading the old right now
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize