yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
