I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
