you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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