He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
