Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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