Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
