Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize