i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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