She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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