I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
