Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
