I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
