I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You're a waste of cheezeits
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
