My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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