Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
