if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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