Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
