im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
